Sometimes.

21 May

Sometimes I feel like the sun shines too bright like the forced smiles of kids who are told they are beautiful but look in the mirror and want to die. I sometimes run to the nearest empty room and count to ten to let the beating that flutters in my chest die down to a low roar so I can finally hear the ocean in my chest again. But beware of kids who say they’re fine because who is really fine anymore? These are the kids who laugh too hard at bad jokes and squirm when making direct eye contact. But you don’t need to see deep into these kid’s eyes to notice something is missing. She walks like she’s got concrete on her shoulders and even with her shoulders slumped she carries such a heavy burden. Her hopes are all china dishes stacked too high on shelves that no-one will use but beauty will do that to you. She balances them with everything else in her life. She’s not Atlas don’t expect her to hold the world up when some days she can’t even get out of bed. Stop telling her she’s weak and maybe she’d get stronger. She has wasted so many 11:11 wishes on boys and better days. Because maybe she just wants a boy to smile at her because yes it’s all the small things, even Blink 182 said that and she lives for punk rock. She remembers a sticker on her old walkman that says the sun shines everyday and so should you, it’s cheesy but she likes it. She found hope while some of us lose it. The sun hides behind clouds but sooner or later it has to come back out again. That’s you, you can take a break but surely you can’t give up.

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